Kennywood

Visited: July 22, 2023

Attending: Just Brian

The Lakemont Park trip took longer than I intended, but I have absolutely no regrets. It did make me rather late getting to Kennywood, though. I arrived mid-afternoon, not intending to spend a ton of time, because I had a long drive in front of me. Sadly, as with my first trip, the park was quite busy. I had to park in the furthest parking lot and make my way down the hill. I was surprised to discover that there are actually three levels of parking lot. There’s an escalator to get from level 2 to level 1, but if you’ve parked all the way up on level 3, you get a steep switchback path down to level 2. Pittsburgh and their hills, I tell ya.

Jack-Rabbit

Once I got inside, it became clear that while the crowds weren’t as bad as 2019, they were still pretty bad. Racer and Jack-Rabbit both had lines that spilled past their entrances. I was aware that whatever I rode next would be my 200th credit, and I wasn’t about to give Steel Curtain that distinction. I’d heard good things about Jack-Rabbit, and it’s quite old as well, so I figured this would do. I got in line and waited, and waited, and waited, just in front of a family with one kid who was a world-class complainer, but she did stick it out the whole time.

I snagged the back seat, noted the fixed grab-bar, but there was a seat belt. Unfortunately, just before dispatch, the ride op tightened the belt quite a bit. I didn’t think you could get stapled with a seat belt, but I was mistaken. I really should have loosened it myself, but I didn’t. Jack-Rabbit is very short, just a double loop that has a ditch in the middle, much like Thunderbolt on the other side of the park. The first drop is from ground level, and does pretty much nothing. After that turnaround, there’s a lift, another turnaround, and the famous double-down. Which, unfortunately, did almost nothing for me, because my seat belt was so tight. I was expecting something Phoenix-like, but this wasn’t that. I believe that the fault was mine (or the ride op’s), and if I ride it again, I may experience the miracle, but sadly, for my #200, I was unimpressed.

Steel Curtain

After that, it was on to my spite coaster, Steel Curtain. I’d attempted to ride this twice in the past, and been denied both times. Although the line wasn’t spilling out onto the midway, this ride has rather more queue space than old woodens. I figured there was probably 45 minutes of waiting, but that was substantially less than my first try, so I resigned myself. Eventually, I made it onto the platform, boarded the train…and then was asked to leave again, because someone had spotted blood on a seat a bit further up the train. Although I was cursing my luck, they didn’t shut the ride down; just cleaned off the seat thoroughly and got back to business. So I finally got my ride.

Which was…eh? I can’t for the life of me figure out how a ride that visually impressive can be flat and lifeless. I wasn’t too sure about putting my hands up for that first inversion, because it’s awfully high up, but then I realized that I wasn’t experiencing much in the way of forces, so there was no sense of danger from putting my hands up. All the inversions seem to flow together into an undifferentiated mass, so you can’t really count the elements even if you wanted to. I hoped the jump over the midway and its followup stall would be exciting, but the hill offered no air at all, and the stall was just a quick flip and then back again. It was over before it even got started, which isn’t the way it looks from the ground. I can understand a ride being dull, but one with this much hype, that visually impressive, really should feel like something. It’s a pretty effective demonstration that rides have to be designed well, not just link a bunch of elements together.

So after two mediocre experiences, I really wanted to do something better. Unfortunately, Racer’s line hadn’t abated any, and Skyrocket’s had gotten worse. It’s a shame to pass up a ride on Phantom’s Revenge, but I was already over an hour past when I’d wanted to leave, not to mention the time I needed to get all the way back up to my car, so I just left. It seems it’s my fate to ride just two coasters each time I go to Kennywood.