Magic Kingdom

Visited: Septmeber 13, 2023

Attending: Just Brian

After doing Disney with a guide the day before, I was ready to go it alone today, although not without some trepidation. The big coaster for today was TRON, but I figured I’d want to spend more time at Hollywood Studios than Magic Kingdom, so I was planning to start in Hollywood and then park-hop to Magic Kingdom. Steven convinced me that would be detrimental to my getting to ride TRON, so I switched my park plans. He was probably right, but the result was that I spent a lot more time at Magic Kingdom than I intended, and it was plenty hot. On the one hand, it was kind of nice walking around the place and seeing things that I normally wouldn’t take the time to see. On the other hand, I didn’t have a choice in the matter, so that made me a bit unhappy. Who wants to be unhappy in the Happiest Place on Earth?

Monorail

For those who don’t know, the Magic Kingdom parking lot is nowhere near the park entrance. You have to take either a steamboat or the monorail to get to the park. I understand that’s part of the immersion, but it’s not really the most enjoyable experience. And the parking lots are not part of the immersion experience, at any of the parks. They’re just vast asphalt deserts. There aren’t even all that many signs, which surprised me. Anyway, I took the monorail over, and made Simpsons jokes in my head the whole way.

PeopleMover

I made my reservation for TRON right at 7 a.m., and was assigned boarding group 99. There’s absolutely no way of judging how long it’ll take before your group is called, which is a distinct disadvantage compared to the older system. So I foolishly thought I should hang out in Tomorrowland for a while, in case I got a relatively quick call. That’s what they call “hubris,” folks. Space Mountain was closed at that particular moment, so I hopped on the PeopleMover because it’s shady and partially indoors. Not much to say about the PeopleMover; it’s lengthy, it’s shaded, and it’s mildly amusing, so it did what I was looking for.

Space Mountain

As I reached the end of the PeopleMover, I could see that Space Mountain had opened, and I watched as the stated wait time jumped from 10 to 20 minutes, then to 30 by the time I reached it. Fortunately, that wasn’t really the case, and I got on fairly quickly. Although I didn’t ride it in 2011, I’ve of course heard a lot about it over the years. I found the trains unexpectedly comfy, with a good amount of cushioning. I’ve ridden enough dark, indoor coasters now to have some idea of what to expect, so nothing particularly startled me. There’s some dips, and some turns, and that’s really about all there is. It’s a bit longer than I expected, so I spent some time trying to figure out how close to the floor we were, with the little light I could see. On the whole, it was perfectly fine, and I’d do it again.

It was becoming clear to me now that I wasn’t going to be called any time soon, so I figured I’d view the Carousel of Progress, because I’d never done that before, and it was indoors. Not much to say about this that hasn’t been said before. The content is fairly cheesy and overly optimistic, but the animatronics aren’t bad, considering their age.

Pirates of the Caribbean

I’d exhausted everything I wanted to do in Tomorrowland at this point, so I figured I might as well see what was going on in other areas of the park. I’ve never done Pirates of the Caribbean, so I headed over that way. The queue was long, but shaded, if not indoors, and it moved along nicely. I found it a bit too noisy to tell much about the story, so it was a bit lost on me, but the animatronics were cool.

Lunch

I had a quick lunch at Pecos Bill’s in Frontierland, because that seemed as far away from the middle of the park as I could get, and there was plenty of seating. Using the app to order was a lot better than standing in line.

Walking with too long lines

At this point, I started getting a bit frustrated at how slowly the TRON virtual queue was moving, and it dawned on me that I was likely to be there all day. I wandered through Frontierland and Fantasyland to see if anything caught my attention, but by this point, the park was getting crowded, and just about everything had 30-minute-plus lines, some of which were outside in the sun. Nothing really seemed all that interesting, and I was starting to get annoyed.

PhilharMagic

This is a concert of Disney music with 3D effects. I mostly chose it because it was likely to last a while, and had to be indoors. Both of which were true. What I had momentarily forgotten was that I like Disney musicals, so my mood was a bit better when I left. Also noted: the kids in the audience responded much better to Coco than to The Lion King. Huh.

The Many Adventures of Winnie the Pooh

This was a real act of desperation. I’d heard that Pooh’s Hunny Hunt was a remarkable trackless dark ride well worth experiencing, but I didn’t remember exactly which park that ride is in. Turns out it’s in Tokyo, not Florida. What I got was a very traditional dark ride with a gentle Pooh theme. I’ve since learned that it’s on the site where Mr. Toad’s Wild Ride once was, so that’s mildly interesting.

Big Thunder Mountain

I’d passed by Big Thunder Mountain earlier, but decided not to ride because a large part of the queue was outside in the sun. I’d ridden it in 2011 and enjoyed it, but it wasn’t a high priority for me this time around, as I already had the credit. At this point, with nothing better to do, I decided to stick it out. The queue moved fairly steadily, and the outdoor part didn’t last too long, relatively speaking, but that indicates the length of the queue more than anything. Big Thunder is a lot of fun, but nothing particularly wild. It has curves, and that’s about all. There are some drops, but nothing I would describe as airtime. It’s a great transitional coaster for kids who are just starting to get into it.

Railroad

Since I was now as far from TRON as I could possibly get, I decided to take the train. After all, Walt Disney loved trains, and they were a primary reason he built Disneyland, so why not? There’s famously no train station in Tomorrowland (although there could be), so I had to ride all the way around to the front of the park and walk back.

TRON Lightcycle / Run

Yeah, the name is punctuated stupidly, but there it is. After waiting until nearly 4:00 for my boarding group to be called, I eagerly joined the queue and…waited another 45 minutes or so in line. Makes me wonder what the point of the virtual queue was. The queue wasn’t even particularly entertaining. Lots of blue glowy panels, a safety video, and that was all. The indoor portions, especially the loading platform, are really atmospheric, and I made sure to keep my sunglasses on so I looked as cyberpunk as I possibly could. The ride vehicles are extremely cool, shaped like motorcycles. Once you hop on and pull the handlebars toward you, the restraints engage on your back and behind your calves. Some folks have difficulty with the calf restraints, but I didn’t. There’s also a really cool compartment in front of the handlebars where you can stow your phone and glasses. (Larger bags need to go in a locker, which is a very cool double-sided locker, but not nearly as cool as a compartment on the vehicle.) Supposedly, it’s a race, and the riders are supposed to stick together as a team (not hard, since they’re linked on the train). As an older person, I remember lightcycles from the original TRON, and their defining characteristic was that they raced on a grid, trailing solid walls behind them, and turned at right angles. Obviously, these trains can’t do any of those things. The outdoor portion is a nice, graceful curve, which doesn’t seem to fit the theme at all. Indoors, there’s more swooping curves, and some stuff happening on video screens, but I definitely didn’t get the sense of a story, or a race. I suspect a night ride would be much better, but good luck getting one of those. I was left rather nonplussed on the whole, which I’m sure had something to do with the extreme wait. It also had something to do with riding Guardians the day before. Both rides are new in Orlando, but Guardians is a brand-new design; Tron is a copy of the coaster at Shanghai Disney, which opened in 2015. A few short years shouldn’t make that much difference in design, and yet, it does. I’ll happily ride TRON again if the lines are at more reasonable levels.

By the time I got off TRON, it was a little after 5. I needed to get back to my hotel, shower, and meet a friend for dinner at 6. Which really put a crimp in my plan for the last park on my itinerary…