New Recruit

The Diary of River Song #9

Released: 27 October 2021

Listened: 10/30/21

The Blood Woods

By 2021, Big Finish and River had worked their way backwards through all the Doctors with living actors. You might figure they’d stop there, as there were a handful of sets with River on her own, with the Doctor nowhere to be found. But Big Finish had also recast the characters from the Third Doctor era by this point, so the ninth set of River Song stories features the Brigadier (played by John Culshaw) and Liz Shaw (played by Daisy Ashford, Caroline John’s daughter). The Doctor has gone off for some reason, leaving Liz as the primary scientific advisor, so the Brigadier hires River as Liz’s assistant, on the Doctor’s recommendation (presumably some future Doctor, but the Brig wouldn’t know that). Liz is understandably miffed about this, since she was originally hired to be UNIT’s solo scientific advisor, and she’s even more miffed when she discovers River is an archeologist. None of this is helped by River being, well, River. She drops anachronistic hints, ignores regulations and authority, and flirts rather blatantly with Liz. Probably the only reason Liz and the Brig put up with it is because they’ve spent weeks working with the Doctor. The plot itself is almost secondary to the interactions: the body of a young man was found aged to death. That’s a UNIT thing, so Liz and River go out alone (in Bessie!) to investigate. The Brig doesn’t send an escort because he wants Liz to know that he trusts her. There’s a woman conducting an archeological dig on her own, so River’s background comes in handy. Plus she saves Liz from a demonic dog that attacks in the night, so Liz starts to thaw towards her. The whole thing of “insular village, mysterious dig site, grumpy local nobility” is very 70s Doctor Who, so much so that I didn’t see the twist coming. Daisy Ashcroft sounds much more like Liz this time around; I had no trouble seeing her the entire time. And of course Culshaw always sounds like the Brig. It’s not a bad start to the set.

Terror of the Suburbs

The last story dropped River into a Season 7 type of story. This one is more River-centric. There’s no Brig, and no UNIT, just Liz. And not Liz at her best, either, because it’s one of those scenarios where a whole bunch of brainwashed humans have been plunked down in a creepy suburban environment where nothing ever changes. In this case, the brainwashed humans are all women of exceptional intelligence or achievement, which includes Liz. River dive-bombs into this environment to pull Liz out, and figure out what the heck is going on, as well as why everyone appears obsessed with their freezers. Writer James Kettle is a comedy writer in his day job, so he definitely wrings the humor out of River appearing in this scenario, but not so far that there’s no plot. That means the story is awash in references to suburban living and pop culture in the 1970s, specific to England, which means a lot of them went past me. Truthfully, Liz isn’t specifically needed for this story. Any accomplished woman from the early 1970s could have filled this space, but Liz fits the bill. As Kettle’s stories often have, there are some pretty random turns that don’t seem to have a ton of explanation, but the characters don’t worry about it much. It’s certainly diverting, and probably more so if the references mean anything to you.

Never Alone

This third story is also more River-appropriate than a traditional Third Doctor story. River and Liz investigate another dead body, which leads to an investigation of a whole slew of missing students. That leads them to a company creating personal electronic devices at least a decade ahead of time, and of course they’re laced with nanotech, which River’s quite familiar with, but Liz only knows the theory. They also encounter Pippa Faraday, a hyper-verbal student who’s quite good with high tech. River invites her to contact UNIT after she’s finished her degree, which sounds like it should be a reference, but isn’t one that I can find. Writer Helen Goldwyn is quite skilled at keeping the personal relationships at the forefront while still moving the story forward. There ends up being quite a bit of Matrix-style VR involved, and River needs Liz to save the day, nearly giving up hope on her own. Also, be sure to hang around to the credits to hear an excellent 8-bit version of the theme song.

Rivers of Light

The Doctor features in this one, so I’ve covered it up in that section.