Camelot

The Lone Centurion #1

Released: 3 February 2022

Listened: 2/8/22

The Once and Future Nurse

Having left ancient Rome, Rory drags the Pandorica to the British Isles, where he discovers that Camelot exists, and is actually in Wales (which is probably an in-joke). Nobody’s saying exactly when this is, and although it sounds like typical Middle-Ages Arthurian legend, it’s also early enough that Rory can plausibly claim that his Roman arms and armor belonged to his father. Not wanting to be a warrior again, he’s set himself up as an apprentice to the court physician…in other words, he’s a nurse. But he’s a nurse with 21st-century medical knowledge, which means he’s a lot more skilled than his boss, and that doesn’t go well. Worse, he ends up treating Lancelot quite a bit, and the knight develops a tremendous crush on him, which Rory is completely unable to see. Plus, there’s actual Merlin here, who seems to have genuine powers, and who knows what the Pandorica is, or at least believes it to be an arcane treasure, so he wants it. It honestly bears a lot of resemblance to the previous series, in that Rory’s trying to stay out of the way of the ruling classes, but fails miserably because of his general honesty and awesomeness. It’s funny, because flustered Rory is always funny (especially when he’s nearly impervious to harm, and so doesn’t fear torture or execution), but the story is pretty slight so far.

The Glowing Warrior

All of the Lone Centurion stories have varied from lighthearted to silly, but this is the first one that I thought was so ridiculous as to be stupid. A glowing man shows up at Camelot and promptly drops dead, which kicks off a quest to find the truth behind the Green Flame, whatever that is. Rory continues to use his modern skills, which now extend to chemistry as well (he was rarely this knowledgeable on TV, but usually didn’t have the chance, I guess). He even refers to his investigations as “CSI Camelot,” which was not a reference I was expecting from this boxed set. Lancelot invites himself along, because he’s not over Rory. In fact, he’s gotten a lot worse, with his overtures ranging from desperate to pathetic. How Rory hasn’t caught on, I have no idea. Ultimately, though, it’s an annoying quest with some mild peril which serves as a distraction to the main thrust of the story, which is still to come.

The Last King of Camelot

The last story is by Kate Thorman, who’s still pretty new to Big Finish, and I’m afraid it doesn’t come off that well. Its tone is more serious than the previous two stories, and in fact it’s somewhat closer to what you’d expect from a Doctor Who story, but this has been a farce up until now, so it’s odd that it turns serious. It also doesn’t really wrap up any loose ends, or even fully explain its own story. Rory and Lancelot return from their absurd quest to find that Merlin has taken over the kingdom, and Arthur, Guinevere, and a bunch of knights are hiding out in the forest. There’s really no explanation of why Merlin would want to do that, how he thinks this might gain him the Pandorica, or where his abilities come from. He’s clearly something Not Normal, but he’s a complete enigma at this point. He’s clearly being set up for future boxed sets, but who knows if there will be any. Lancelot seems somewhat less overbearing this time, and proves himself to a capable warrior, if not a leader. Which is strange, because the previous stories seemed to be setting him up as a fake. And speaking of fakes, Rory is suddenly inept at combat, even though he was very good in Rome. He blames it on being unused to plate armor and a heavy broadsword, but it still seems rather odd. Arthur continues to be a useless dishrag, although he keeps insisting on trying to fight, leaving it unclear whether he’s a coward, or trying to be a good king, or monumentally unaware of his own failings, or what. Fortunately, Guinevere turns out to be a capable leader. Not that “established history” matters much in these stories, especially given that Camelot is mostly fictional anyway, but even though Rory’s trying to be careful, this story just stomps up and down on the traditional story. Unfortunately, the massive swings in this boxed set rather put me off of it.